Name That Tune

I was bored today because Hope is spending the night with McKenna, and I just wanted to see if I could do this or not. What song is it?

I know exactly where I was too

Since Bryn wrote about where she was six years ago last night, I figured I would too because it's one of my favorite memories of those six weeks. David and I had gone to some wedding hall downtown to check it out and then we went to the Onion for dinner. After dinner he went home and I went to the hospital.

I think everyone was in her room when I first got there, but maybe not- my memory of that part isn't very clear. But eventually, it was just me and mom. She was turned on her stomach, so I sat down next to her face and started talking to her. I'm sure whatever I told her was just a bunch of chatter, but I said something about Carol Behl. Mom raised her head up a little, looked at me, and said, "What?". I was in shock- I hadn't heard her say a word in four weeks! I said "What did you say?" and tried to get her to say it again or say something else, but that was it. She just laid there- I don't even really remember if she had her eyes open or closed. So I laid my head down on the bed- the rail must've been down from when they flipped her- and kept talking to her for a little while. I started thinking about all the wedding stuff I needed to do and I fell asleep right there, with my head next to hers. I woke up about 10:30 or 11:00 and freaked out cause it was so late, kissed her cheek, and said "Bye mama". And walked out. I didn't intend for that goodbye to be the last one. I certainly could've thought of alot more to tell her than something about Mrs. Behl if I'd known I'd never talk to her again. But I like the memory of laying there, staring at her face and talking to her. At least the last time I was with her was something that is etched in my memory, not just one more night of sitting in that hospital room or sleeping curled up on that waiting room couch. At least it's something I remember.

Remember to Not Forget....

Most mornings we follow the same routine. Hope or Naomi wakes me up, we get up/make beds/change diapers/use bathroom and then go downstairs and eat breakfast. While the girls are eating, I get my glass of water and take my vitamins and antidepressant. During the weekend, we don't follow this routine, so I often forget to take my meds. Usually, though, I remember at some point that I've forgotten to take everything and take them later in the day. I forgot both days this weekend and never did take them.

Couple forgetting to take the drugs with a case of PMS, and you apparently wind up with this scene that's occuring now:

Someone feeding their children breakfast and cleaning up the kitchen, singing the Salute to the Armed Forces, and bawling about it. Why am I sobbing about the song? Who the heck knows.

I heard the Marines Hymn last night on tv and got it stuck in my head. So this morning I started singing all the songs- why is it that fifteen years after I graduated and quit doing all those Veteran's Day programs I can still sing every word to all the Armed Forces songs, harmony and all. Anyway, now that it's stuck in my head, I'm singing it and CRYING ABOUT IT???? WHY?? Please, Lord, tell me why I'm crying about a stupid song about the military??? Do I have any loved ones in the military? Not anymore. Do I even know anyone in the military? Not that I can think of. So why why why am I sobbing about it??

I guess I still need the antidepressants. I've REEEEEALLY got to remember to not forget to take those drugs!

Scolded by a Three-Year-Old

Today Naomi and I were playing with her Tubby. Naomi mostly just munches on her ears and tail, so I was playing tug-of-war with her while she chewed away on an ear. Hope saw us going at it, came over, and said "No, that's Naomi's Tubby, not yours. Now settle down and you two can share her!" At least I know she hears some of the things I say.

Unfortunately, she hears other things I say too. This morning her pants weren't cooperating in going on. She got frustrated and muttered "frickin' things...." Ooops!

Smells like Spring

The past two days have been so warm! Monday was in the high fifty's, and Tuesday it hit 75!! We cleaned out the garage yesterday- everyone in teeshirts- it was wonderful. Hope rode her tricycle around the driveway, kicked around her soccer ball, and went "treasure hunting"- her treasures consist of pinecones, twigs, and bunny turds she finds in the yard.

Both nights I've gone to the store late, after the girls are in bed and the shows I want to watch are over. And both nights I've walked very slowly into the store so I could just smell the air. It has that humid, warm summer night smell. Last night the wind was blowing, but it was a warm breeze, not the freezing bone-chilling wind it's been all winter. I almost turned on the flood lights in the back yard and sat on the back porch when I got home. I can't wait for spring!!

Happy Birthday, mama. I miss you.

Good thing we didn't have peas for breakfast

Hope wanted raisin bran for breakfast this morning, and since I had just bought a big canister of raisins, I got those out for her to add to the cereal. She has been snacking on them ever since. I guess I wasn't really paying attention to her, because after a while she says " I can't get it out". I knew before I even looked at her what had happened. Yep, finger up the nose trying to retrieve the raisin that was shoved up there. I grabbed the flashlight and tweezers, but of course the batteries in the flashlight were dead and she was starting to panic by then, so I just stuck the tweezers up there and hoped I didn't hurt her. The raisin came out on the first try and I threw it away. The drama queen starts sobbing- why, you ask? Because she wanted to eat the raisin!!!

Reminiscing

Hope and I were just looking at her scrapbooks. She likes to look through them and tell me who everyone is. There was a picture of her, Grant, and Aunt Carol, but she thought it was my mom. Then she throws in, "But your mom died". I said "Yep, she did die", to which the all-knowing Hopey says, "Well she should've gone to the hospital and the doctors would take care of her and then they could make it so she didn't die anymore." Oh, Hopey, if only it were that easy......

I think, I think, I think....

.....my sleepless nights are over! I need a Happy Dance graemlin- I'd have a whole line of them! Naomi has slept through the night the past two nights. I've vaguely heard her wake up and cry, but by the time I'm awake enough to realize she's crying she's pretty much calmed down and going back to sleep. This morning she didn't wake up till 7:00; most mornings it's 6:00. Since she's proven she can do it, unless all hell breaks loose, I'm not going to be too quick to go feed her from now on even if she does wake up. The bad part is now I'm so used to getting up in the night I wake up anyway. Hopefully a few nights of uninterrupted sleep will cure that.

The Faith of a Child

Last week one of David's coworkers came over for dinner and to watch American Idol. We all sat down for dinner, and Hope says "we forgot to say prayers". Now, Cindy is in no way, shape, or form a Christian, but we all, Cindy included, folded our hands and bowed our heads while Hope said her prayer. Usually she makes us say it first and she repeats what we say, but she managed her own prayer that night. The next night Hope was already at the table eating when David and I sat down with her. Pretty soon she piped up with "Um, guys, we need to pray..." Last night when I put her to bed, her bedtime prayer consisted of things like "thank you for my lamp, thank you for my room"; I think there were some thank-you's for some of her guys. Such simple things that I don't think to say thank you for, but things that she recognizes as blessings worth remembering.

Do you ever think that maybe God speaks with the voice of a three-year-old? I'm finding that seeing my faith reflected in my child makes me want to live it all the more.

The Gimme Monster

Yesterday Hope and I attempted to write her thank-you notes for her Christmas presents. This is how it went:

Me: Grandma and grandpa Keith gave you your easel. What do you like about your easel?
Hope: I want grandpa Keith to buy me a yo-yo.
Me: Ok, Nana and Papa got you all your paints and art stuff. What's your favorite part about them?
Hope: Maybe Papa will buy me a yo-yo.
Me: Didi got you your backyardigans game. What do you want to tell her about it?
Hope: I know! Didi can buy me a yo-yo!

I don't even know if she knows what a yo-yo is. Where did she come up with this? Then today when we were in the check-out line at Target she grabbed something and asked me to buy it. This is how that conversation went:

Hope: can you get this for me?
Me: sure, what is it?
Hope: ....(blank look)
Me: if you can tell me what it is, I'll buy it for you. What is it? (it was a box of Mentos; I knew there was a pretty slim chance she'd know)
Hope: well, see, it's these little white circle things....
Me: Wrong answer; put it back.

We've been talking alot about Madame Blueberry lately, trying to emphasize the point that she was never happy no matter how much stuff she had. I think we may have to watch that episode a few more times. The next several days I'm thinking we're going to be singing The Thankful Heart song around this house. It seems to have worked with the Have Patience song I used to make her sing. This morning when Naomi was crying because I wasn't making her oatmeal fast enough, Hope said "Naomi, she's making it; be patient" and started singing her the song:)

Gee, Thanks Hope

I just went upstairs to put on a sweater because I was cold. I have a green chenille sweater that's real soft, so that's what I grabbed. When I came back downstairs, Hope said "Oh mom, I love that shirt you put on. You look like a big, green ogre!" Maybe I need to take Shrek out of the VCR and put in a nice princess movie.

Vocal Stylings by Naomi

Naomi has started "talking" alot to us, to herself, to her toys. But the past few days she's started doing this growl all the time. It sounds alot like Hope's imitation of the wild pig races:) At first I thought she was mad about something when I heard her doing it. After I fed her last night, instead of burping and laying her head down like she usually does, she started growling- she was still growling to herself when I put her in her crib and left. What a goofball!

My Obedient Liitle Girl

We put Hope to bed about an hour ago. We could hear her in her room and assumed she was playing since she wasn't tired at bedtime. But I finally went up to check on her and see what she was doing. She'd been up there crying the whole time because we'd forgotten one step of the bedtime routine. (she's ALL about the routines) When I asked why she didn't come to the top of the stairs like she usually does if she needs something, she said "Well, daddy told me to stay in my room". I guess maybe we need to clarify the rules a little, but I was proud of her that even though she was upset, she obeyed what daddy had said. Her morning rule is she can't leave her room until I come get her. Even on Christmas day, when we woke up at nine in the morning, she was still in her bed, talking to her "guys" and "playing pretend" as she says. I know we still have a lot of years to mess up, but so far I think we've done an awfully good job rearing this little girl.

All I Want For Christmas....

All Hope really asked Santa for was a WishingFairy Dora and coloring books. Well, she got that and more! It looks like Toys R Us threw up in our living room. Not only did she get Dora and coloring books, she got an art easel, all kinds of paints and brushes and markers, books, puzzles, games, clothes, dora bedding, a leapfrog globe, Veggie movies, and a little piano. And guess what her favorite toy has been the past two days. Naomi's plastic snap-together beads that Santa brought. (And being the OCD child that she is, they have been color-coded and cannot be mixed together- I got in big trouble when I tried) We really didn't spend very much money on Hope this year because all the stuff we were going to get for her other people bought instead, but she had to have gotten $300 worth of presents. And instead of playing with any of it, she's playing with her little sister's classic, five-dollar toy. Let this be a lesson to me that more expensive is NOT better, and the things she sees on TV aren't really what she wants, regardless of what she tells me.

She actually does like her presents; she's just on overload. We had to force her to open most of her gifts- she wanted to play with each thing she opened instead of opening everything and then playing with them. I think I'm going to put some of them away and let her play with a couple toys at a time. She loves her "play-ano" and microphone. She's serenaded us quite a bit already- we videotaped a lovely rendition of Away in a Manger. There's a volume control on the piano, but not on the mic and she doesn't understand "Sing quitely", so I think it's going to be put in her playroom so she can sing as loudly as she wants. She's painted a few masterpieces already, but ran out of room on the fridge to hang them, so she had to stop. Santa put some Silly Putty in her stocking, and she learned the hard way that mixing red and green sillyputty isn't a good idea- she now has a lump of brown putty.

All in all, Hopey had a wonderful christmas. I'm going to have to clean out some of her old toys so there's space for the new ones in her playroom; now the problem is how to explain to her the concept of Goodwill...

For The Love of WalMart

I used to hate WalMart. I wouldn't go in the place unless forced. It's always crowded, and stupid people seem to congregate there. They're slow (we all know how well I tolerate slow people) and they stand in the middle of the aisle, so you can't go around them. Do they make their aisles narrow on purpose? It sure seems that way. But a couple of years ago, Dad and Phil'n'Bell both started telling me that they did all their grocery shopping at WalMart and that it was the cheapest place around. Since I'm all about the cheapies, I figured we'd give it a try. We'd go at times that weren't so crowded so I wouldn't have a hissy fit and leave, and although we didn't continue to shop there all the time, we did go occasionally and I didn't mind it when we needed to go there.

In Spokane, whenever we needed something and had to run to the store, we went to Albertson's cause it was one minute away. Well, now our store that's close is WalMart. It isn't one minute away, but probably three minutes. Last night I was there getting a few things and I got started thinking about how, if I hadn't gotten used to shopping there when we lived in Spokane, I would HATE the fact that I had to go to WalMart and that would be just one more reason to not exactly love Rockford. But, because God knew that I would live by WalMart, He allowed me to get used to it before we moved. So I walked through the store with a smile on my face, grateful for a God who gently changes my heart about little things, knowing that one day it would be a big thing to me.

GUESS WHO HAS TWO TOOTHERS!!

Sleeping Like a Baby

We've been working with Naomi, trying to get her to sleep better, and I think we're finally succeeding. We were so lucky with Hope, although we didn't know it at the time. But we also made some mistakes with her sleeping habits that we're trying to avoid making with Naomi.

When Hope was a baby, one of us would lay down with her and snuggle her until she fell asleep. Then when she was a little older, I'd rock her and sing to her until she fell asleep and then put her in her crib. She finally got to where we could put her in her crib and she'd go to sleep at night, but we still had to lay down with her at naptime. But when she had pneumonia, we made the mistake of letting her sleep with us, and that started alot of sleep problems. I figured I'd be up checking on her anyway, so might as well have her in bed with me, right? Well, she never would go back to her bed. She had pneumonia in October, and in January she was still in our bed. She was a very active sleeper, and neither of us got decent sleep with her in bed with us, so finally I decided enough was enough. The problem was she didn't think enough was enough. She'd cry so hard when we put her in her crib that she'd make herself throw up. So I'd go in, clean her up, and put her in our bed, where she'd promptly go to sleep. I even put Zach's bed in our room thinking she'd sleep ok if she was right next to us. No luck- she had to be IN OUR BED. Finally one night, I laid there for forty-five minutes and listened to her scream and vomit, determined that that little girl was going to relearn to sleep by herself. That one night was horrible, but the next night she cried some but fell asleep fairly quickly, and that was the end of her sleeping issues. After that, we could just put her in her crib and she'd go to sleep. Even at nap time when she slept on our bed or Zach's bed, she'd stay put. We'd cover her up and tell her to go to sleep, and for the most part she would. Now I can just tell her to go upstairs and take a nap; I don't even have to supervise.

We haven't let Naomi sleep with us and have purposely tried to not snuggle her at bedtime and have her be dependent on us holding her to get to sleep. We'd put her pacifier in her mouth and turn on her music, and as long as the pacifier was in, she'd go to sleep. The problems came when the binky fell out- she could not get back to sleep unless we went back in and put the pacifier back in for her. Well, now, five months later, we have another little girl who needs our help to sleep. At this age, she should not be waking up three or four times a night to eat, so I decided it was time to do something about her too. I hate the "cry it out" idea, but I know it does work better than just about anything else.

Right now, Naomi is learning to sit up. Based on previous experience, I have no doubt that in learning to sit, she'll fall alot. Lord knows Hope did- there was the infamous fall off the counter, and she toppled over on cement floor a few times. There will be some hurt body parts and lots of tears. Does that mean I never give her the chance to sit by herself until I'm sure she won't fall? No. Do I hold her whenever she wants to sit up so she doesn't risk toppling over and shedding some tears? No. So why would I not let her practice sleeping on her own, knowing she'll cry some? I hate the sound of her crying, knowing it would be so easy for me to comfort her, but at some point she has to learn to sleep. Might as well be now.

For the past week, when it's nap time (and she now has scheduled naptimes) I take her up to her crib, turn on her music, and close the door. If she cries, then I go fold laundry so I can't hear her. At first she was rolling onto her stomach and squirming around, getting her legs stuck in the slats of the crib. So we put the bumper back in and put in a firm pillow, and lay her against the side of the crib so she can't go anywhere. The past few days, I've put her in there, and not heard a sound until she wakes up two hours later. Bedtime is now at six or seven, depending on when she woke up from her afternoon nap. I'll get up and feed her once a night, and otherwise she has to figure out how to get back to sleep by herself, and she is. In fact, last night she didn't even wake up except when her diaper leaked and her jammies were wet. I'm amazed at how well she's doing, and even though it's hard to listen when she cries, it feels so good to be consistent with her and know it's paying off.

Elmo's World

Last night David and Hope went to see Sesame Street Live. It was the Elmo Makes Music one- gee, elmo and music, do you think Hope liked it? They sang all the sesame street songs, and apparently Big Bird talked to her; he really made an announcement over the PA system, but whatever. David said she sat perfectly still with an amazed look on her face the whole time! She came home with a huge elmo balloon- he's the same size as her from her knees to her head. David said she really wanted one, but they were eight bucks, so he told her they were too expensive. But one of the other people from Swedish bought two for her friend's girls, and apperently the girls share a room and decided they didn't need two and gave one to Hope. She has carried the thing everywhere since she came home. She even had to take it to the bathroom with her last night. At first she was afraid to let go of it- I guess she remembers losing too many balloons to the vaulted ceilings in our old house, but we showed her that these ceilings are lower and it won't go too high. This morning she was up before David left for work, filling him in on what happened last night, just in case he forgot- she gave him a complete rundown of the story, and then did the same for me when I got up. She had to shove her elmo balloon in Naomi's face so she could see it. This morning on PBS there was a commercial for next year's Sesame Street Super Grover- she informed me that daddy was going to take her to that. He probably will, but to be on the safe side, I think we won't watch PBS for about a month before Super Grover gets here.

Roly Poly Naomi

Naomi figured out how to roll over quite a while ago, but she didn't do it much until the past few days. Now she rolls over as soon as you put her on the floor. The problem with that is she hates being on her tummy for more than thirty seconds and she can't roll back over onto her back. So this is our routine:
-I put Naomi on her blanket on the floor
-she rolls over instantly
-she waits a few seconds and then cries
-I turn her back over
-before I can resume what I was doing she's on her tummy again
I've told her to stop rolling over, but somehow she doesn't get it:) I'm thinking of putting pillows on both sides of her so she can't make it over. This morning she was crying in her crib and I just assumed she was on her tummy, so I finished what I was doing before I went in there. Well, she was on her tummy, but she'd somehow scooted around and backwards and had both legs stuck through the slats of the cribs. No wonder she was mad!

On a different note, we have at least a foot of snow that has fallen since last night. Aren't I excited. It's so deep that our patio chairs are covered up past the seats. Hope was telling me she wanted to build a snowman. I explained that snowman snow has to be wet so it will hold together, and it's so cold that this snow is too dry. She opened the curtain, looked outside, and said "Oh yes, you're right". I'm right!?! I guess there's a first time for everything:)