Safety Rails

The other night Joel got up at 3:00am, got out of bed, and started playing in his room. In order to get out of bed, he has to crawl over the safety rails that completely encircle his bed. He can't accidentally fall or slide out of bed; he has to make the conscious decision to get over those rails.

Obviously, his playing in his room didn't go over extremely well. He knows he isn't allowed to get out of bed in the night. If he wakes up, he's supposed to play with one of the books or toys in his bed until he goes back to sleep.

There may have been some harsh words directed at him as I encouraged him to get back in bed. Or I may have just barged in and yelled at him to get his butt back where it belonged. I'm quite sure one of those two scenarios occurred.

On the way to work the next morning, I was praying about Joel. "WHY, God, why can he not obey? Why is it so difficult to just stay in his bed? What is it about this kid that makes him take each and every opportunity to disobey and seize it wholeheartedly?"

Ya ever notice how God doesn't really answer prayers like that? Instead, as He wipes His eyes from laughing at me so hard, He brings these thoughts to my mind:

How often do I climb over my own 'safety rails' into areas that God tells me to not enter?

How often do I ignore a simple command to obey?

How often do I think that I can just quietly enjoy the things of the world and nobody will notice?

I'll be really quiet and just sit here and play for a few minutes before I get back in bed. No one will wake up and I'll be able to have my fun before mom realizes I'm out here being disobedient. I won't get caught. Besides, if I wasn't supposed to play with these things, mom wouldn't have bought them for me, right?

I'll be really quiet and not advertise the fact that I watch {insert tv show that mocks my beliefs}/read {insert magazine title that promotes worldliness}/listen to {insert music by an artist who does not glorify God with his/her talent}. No one will know and I'll be able to have my fun before it really affects me. God won't care. I won't get caught. Besides, if I wasn't supposed to watch/read/listen to these things, God wouldn't have allowed them to exist, right?

Joel is simply a miniature version of me.

I guess safety rails aren't just for two-year-olds.

Men

Men are dumb. They may mess up and do something right once in a while, but in general, they're dumb.

This last week David was in San Francisco. But I still packed up all four kids and went to the Y every night. Treadmill, elliptical, weights, every night he was gone.

Part of it is selfish on my part- I don't have to deal with Joel if I go to the Y. The childcare there gets to. And he is SO much better there, from what I can tell. I'm sure part of it is having different toys and different kids to play with. I could stay home and put up with the attitude and disobedience for an hour before bedtime, if I felt like it. But I don't.

David knows I go each night. He's told me how proud he is of me that I still go when he's gone, even though it's harder to take all of them by myself.

So today he gave me a present for Valentine's Day. No flowers, even though he knows that's what I love most as a gift. No books, because he knows I'll just go to the library and get any book I want to read. He got me 10,000 calories worth of chocolate. Thank you so much. Just what I need to help with my goal to lose weight. Four pounds' worth of calories in chocolate. In his defense, he did get some peanut butter M&M's- always a good call. And a bag of Dove, which I like. But a bag of regular kisses- those will go to the kids. And a box of truffles with all sorts of weird flavors....again, I hope the kids enjoy peach-flavored chocolate.

Stick with flowers. I always like them. For any occasion. Flowers.

Normal

2/13/2001
6:30am

5099223773
Fowler J

That's what showed up on my caller ID. I thought it was odd for mom to call so early, but she knew I'd be up and on my way to work.

Only, when I answered, it wasn't mom. It was Charles.

"Tisha, there's somenthing wrong with your mom."

Those few seconds before I answered the phone were the last normal moments of my life.

Since I was leaving for work, I called Mandy to deal with it. I didn't really think it was any big deal. I just figured Charles was overreacting a bit and didn't want to call Mandy since she'd figured out all the stuff going on between him and mom. Even after she went to the hospital and they thought she had an aneyrism, I still didn't realize what I was in for. A patient of mine that morning told me I should go to the hospital, but I said "Oh, my sister's a PA and she didn't act like it was a huge deal, so I'm sure it'll be fine."

At lunch that day, Mandy called and said that a chaplain had told her to call anyone she thought should be there. That's when I realized this was a whole lot more serious than I had realized. I remember telling Ted to cancel my afternoon. He thought I was joking because I didn't want to go back to work after lunch, I guess, because he chuckled. I stared him down and barked, "I'm serious. Cancel my afternoon. I'm going to the hospital." I'm quite sure I didn't even tell the doctors I was leaving. I just left.

I remember speeding to the hospital, the entire time praying "God, please just let her live till I get there. Don't let her die before I'm there." And she didn't. He answered that prayer. I remember several other times I prayed things like 'keep her safe', 'let her not be in pain', 'let her be peaceful', and those all were answered too. I wonder if God purposely kept me from praying simply 'don't let her die' so I wouldn't focus on the prayers that weren't answered, but on the ones that were.

And today, 10 years later, I've had to find a new normal in life. After that phone call, my old 'normal' ceased to exist.

White versus Wheat

Hope and I were learning about food groups, vitamins, and minerals in Science. Her book showed a bunch of pictures of foods, and she was supposed to decide which ones had lots of vitamins and/or minerals.

She obviously chose all the fruits and veggies, but she also chose the picture of Wonderbread. We had a talk about how the white bread really didn't have any vitamins, but the dark bread that we eat does have good-for-you things in it.

"So that's why I don't like the bread at Ms. Priscilla's. It's white and not good for me."

Today when I made them lunch, they had 100% whole wheat bread, organinc pb, sugar-free jelly, lowfat string cheese, stone ground flax and rye crackers, and five pieces of pineapple.

David made a face when he tried the crackers; he won't eat the whole wheat bread either. He uses sandwich thins if he eats a sandwich because he thinks whole wheat bread is too dry. I've learned not to send him to the store for bread, because we end up with cracked wheat bread, or in other words, Wonderbread with little flakes put in to make it look like there might be a grain or two in it.

Just goes to show what our taste buds prefer if they're never given a sweeter, less healthy option. Each kid ate every bite of their lunch, whole grains and all.

WYYYYYYYYYY-MCA

We joined the Y....again.

And I've gotten to be buddies with the treadmill....again.

And realized that lifting weights results in unexpectedly sore muscles the next day....again.

Can you sense my joy? Yeah, me neither.

But we've also started swimming with the kids during open swim time. This Y has a lap pool, but not a nice kids pool like the Valley Y. The kids have to be with a parent, and you can only have one non-able-to-swim child per adult, so the kids have had to take turns.

David figured out how to wrap a pool noodle around Joel and put a lifejacket on over it so that he easily stays above the water and can play. The child couldn't sink if he tried. He dogpaddles all over the pool chasing the other noodles and balls they put in the pool for the kids to play with. He really is going to be a very athletic kid. But he swam by me the other night and said "Mom, I a gwate thwimmah." Take the flotation devices off and let's see what a great swimmer you are, little boy. At least he seems to have confidence in his abilities:)