I'm so lucky

Tonight I'm being reminded of how lucky I am to have my family. Naomi has had intestinal issues the past few days and is having lots of crying episodes because her tummy hurts. So as I sit here typing this, David is on the floor playing with her and dealing with the crying. Not because I have to make dinner or do housework or anything urgent- I'm playing on the internet for heavens' sake- but because he called home twice today and knows she's been crying alot and he figured I needed a break. Not too many husbands that I know of would want to come home from work, go out and do yardwork, cook dinner because it was grilled chicken and the grill is his department, mop the kitchen floor, and then, rather than sit on the couch and relax, will sit on the floor and entertain a noisy, fussy, at times screaming infant. I remember when I was working and David stayed home with Hope, I'd come home and David would want me to take care of her because he'd been with her all day and was tired and wanted a break. I resented it because I figured I'd been at work all day and wanted a break too, and dealing with Hope wasn't my version of a break:) Maybe because we've both been in the other's shoes we understand both sides, but right now I'm very thankful for such a considerate, thoughtful spouse.

Today I'm also thankful for Hopey. Some days I love her but I'm not thankful for her, but today wasn't one of them. I had a chiropractor appointment and had to take the girls, and instead of the whining and do-it-my-way attitude that has become the norm, she sat on the chair and was perfect. She asked a few questions in a sweet voice and ate her M&M's. She entertained herself at the store, and didn't even throw much of a fit when she found a toy she wanted and I said no. David brought Hope a cookie home from work, and she'd been sitting at the table eating it. After a few minutes she came into the family room with two pieces and said "I want to share with you guys". One piece of her cookie was for me and one for David. I have a tough time sharing my desserts with her when she asks for a bite, and yet my three-year-old does it because she wants to, not because anyone asked. Maybe tomorrow she'll be back to being miss sassypants, but today made me feel like somewhere in there was the sweet girl I hope she's becoming.

Bye Bye Didi

Bryn came to visit last week, so Hope has had an attentive audience for the last few days. She did lots of interpretive dancing, got her hair put in french braids every day, and enjoyed not having to share any attention with Naomi, but she was NOT on her best behavior. My sister probably thinks I forgot to unpack my parenting skills after our move. Sassy, whiny, and uncooperative describes her attitude the past few days. But today we sat and waited for Bryn's airport shuttle to leave, me crying because Bryn was leaving and Hope crying because she wanted to get on the bus with her Didi. I didn't think it would help matters if I told her I wanted to too.

Dancing Queen

This morning Brooks and Dunn were on the Today show, so of course I had it turned up over Naomi's swing music. You know how the people in the audience are- hands up waving and yelling, and since there was music, clapping too. So pretty soon I look over and Hope is standing there with her hands up waving them around like the people on TV. Now she's swaying back and forth saying "C'mon guys, dance with me" and grabbed a huge stuffed animal and is dancing with him. I really need to just run the video camera all the time- I'd win several times on America's funniest videos.

The First Bite

Saturday we went to Amy's house for dinner and I was in charge of dessert. I decided I'd make that cream cheese-cool whip-pistachio pudding thing mom used to make. I haven't had it since she died- I'm not even sure I'd had it for a few years before that- she didn't make it all that often. As I was making it I was telling David how it was all of our favorite dessert and how we'd had it in various forms at every sports awards banquet, National Honor Society reception, lasagna dinner, and fundraiser that Valley Christian ever had. And also as I'm making it I'm hoping it's as good as mom used to make it. I've always been sad that I'll never taste her Chex mix again. I can't make it the same as she did; Bryn can't either. I made a few batches for comfort food after I had my miscarriage, and I remember crying because it wasn't as good, and that was one more reason to miss her. That was one thing that I completely associate with mom- that stinkin' chex mix- and I don't even really like to eat it anymore because it's not the same.

So I made the dessert just like the recipe said and couldn't wait to try it. The first bite of it was heaven. It tasted exactly right. Isn't it weird how your brain can remember a taste? I knew it tasted just like moms. After mom died, when I'd first wake up in the mornings there was that second or two before I'd remember that she was gone. Well, for just a second, mom wasn't dead and she'd made our favorite dessert again. At least that's how it tasted. Oh, and everyone loved it!

Dinner (sans les enfants)

David's mom offered to stay home with the girls tonight so David and I could go out to dinner by ourselves. We went to TGIFridays since we hadn't ever been there. It was pretty good. We, of course, ran errands after dinner- God forbid we didn't do something productive! It was nice to have some time alone with David and be able to talk without a three-year-old interrupting to tell us something of great importance to no one but her. It wasn't bad being away from Naomi because she doesn't really interact at this point, but the whole time I missed being with Hope. It's pretty pathetic that I can't leave the house for two hours without wishing she was with us.

Regret

I know we couldn't stay in Spokane. I know that. David couldn't have gotten a job right out of school there. I didn't want to work full time anymore. And if I hadn't left, Dr. Stewart might not have made the changes she did. But right now I'm really wishing there was a way we could've stayed.

I've known for several weeks that Dr. Stewart had decided to sell her practice and leave Spokane. Maybe that's what made me think about my patients so much and miss so many of them. I don't think a day goes by that something doesn't remind me of one of them. I worry about their reactions when they find out; I worry that some of them are going to feel abandoned- Ted left, I left, now Dr. Stewart leaves! A few of them who were SO adamant about only seeing Dorothy aren't going to know what to do. Sounds dramatic, but true. I know that with Dr. Frampton buying the practice they'll be in great hands, and maybe they'll be a little more comfortable since she was part of the practice before. But now that Heather is in charge and wants to be open five days a week, and the new hygienist only works three days a week, there's an opening for a hygienist two days a week. Just the schedule I would consider working...

The whole point of moving was to leave the winters. I'm quite certain we didn't do that by moving here. I'm getting the impression that Rockford is just Spokane with humidity. Same size, same amenities, same atmosphere. I know we couldn't have stayed, but with my ideal work situation having been created, I wish there was a way it could've worked.

There's another job opening in Tucson. Why am I still checking?

Freudian Slip

So David is trying to teach Hope the Oscar Meier song- he's sure they'll want her on the commercials if she can just learn it. So after singing it together, he had her sing it by herself. Her opening line was: "Oh, I wish I had a weiner..." I think we need to work a little more on the song.