I've been praying for direction on an issue for months. Over a year, I suppose. I gave God a timeline. About a month ago, I tried to revise that timeline. "Ok, God, by Thanksgiving. I want a definite answer by then."
Thursday, I felt the familiar cramping that meant I was soon going to be reminded again how much I detest my uterus. I had a sleep study scheduled for Saturday night; not exactly wonderful timing since I can't sleep through the first night without flooding. So Friday morning, I asked God to please just hold off till Sunday. I didn't want to cancel the study. So Saturday I kept waiting, but nothing showed up. Sunday morning, as I was being unhooked from all the wires, I felt the floodgate open.
Ok, God. I get it.
Perhaps my not getting the answer I want IS my answer.
But I just don't think I can live with that.
So, do I ignore a very direct answer to a half-hearted prayer? Do I assume that God is capable of answering some of my prayers in my timeline, but not others?
Or do I continue to beat down the door of Heaven pleading? Do I keep extending my timeline, hoping that God will change His mind. Or maybe there is the answer I want, if I just can be patient and not attempt to make God answer my prayers on my timeline. Maybe His timeline is different than mine, and if I could just go with whatever, I might still get what I think I want.
Do I ignore one answer and not the other, or do I keep on asking? And does it matter anyway? If I continue to ask, is that disobedient?
How do you know if the answer is really No or if it just hasn't been answered yet?
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