MOMMMMMMMMMM

Naomi has finally learned how to say mom, credit mostly due to Hopeybug patiently saying "Naomi, say ma.........ma" over and over till she'd finally copy her. But now it's about all she says. If I'm not paying attention to her and she thinks I should, she yells "Mom!" If I'm not in view, she'll yell until I show up. If I close the bathroom door, if I don't shove food in her mouth quick enough, if she's bored, if she's in her crib and wants out.........you get the idea. David thinks its hilarious, so she has figured out she's being funny and does it just to make David laugh. I knew that, contrary to Oma's assessment, she wasn't retarded and would eventually talk. But now I wish she'd learn a new word. What else can I have Hope teach her? At least she hasn't figured out how to say "no" yet. She just shakes her head and runs the other way.

Angels Watching Over Me

I'm not sure what possessed me to make a 9am OB check. It's normally a 30-minute drive to the doctor's office; at 8 or 9, with traffic, it's more like 45 minutes if there aren't any wrecks. So when I woke up at 7:23, I was more focused on getting showered and getting the girls ready to go than I was on eating breakfast. So on the way to the doctor, I realized I hadn't eaten and needed to. But I figured, I'll just wait till after the appointment and take the girls to McDonalds. Great idea for a diabetic, right? Hashbrowns, biscuits, and OJ- no carbohydrate there. But we went. Naomi was flirting with someone sitting behind me, and when we got up to leave, I saw it was some skanky-looking guy just hanging out there. So when we went out to the car, I locked the doors. I never lock the car doors when we're in it unless there's someone around that worries me or we're in scary area. But I locked them, just to be on the safe side.

So as we were driving home, Hope says "Look what I'm doing, mom". She picked while we were driving 70mph down the freeway to realize she could reach her door handle and was pulling on it. If I hadn't locked the doors, her door would've flown open while we were in the fast lane on the freeway. Who knows if I would've had the presence of mind to just pull over or if we would've gotten in a wreck, but luckily I didn't have to find out. Whatever guardian angel God assigned to me today was thoughtful enough to make me forget to eat breakfast and then send some creepy guy to McDonalds, just to protect us and make sure Hope didn't learn a *very* hard lesson.

The Tickle Monster

David and I were sitting on the couch with Hope, and somehow we got started tickling her feet. Pretty soon Naomi runs over, yelling at us. We thought she was going to try to save her sissy. No, no; she wanted in on the action! She started in on Hope's tummy, trying to tickle her too. Then later I was laying on the floor, and she flopped over on my stomach and started tickling me!

The grass is always greener........

I am completely, without question, certifiably loco. This morning I've been crying because I miss Rockford. Yes, the place I absolutely hated and thought should be banished from the face of the earth. The place I complained about constantly and couldn't wait to leave. But David got an email yesterday from the echo dept with all the latest gossip- who's prego, who's dating, that sort of stuff. Then last night I dreamed we moved back there, but the people who bought our house wouldn't let us buy it back.

I told David about the dream, and he said "Well, I don't blame them. I wouldn't want to sell it either". So as we were talking I got started crying because I miss that house and I miss knowing David was happy to go to work every morning and I miss being able to be home and do whatever I want and being able to just go over to the hospital for lunch if we wanted. I miss Amy and Andre. I'm nuts. I hated it there- but now I can't really remember why. Maybe it was just cause I didn't think that's where I wanted to be. But I wonder what would've happened if I'd been taking my antidepressants that week we were in Spokane. David knew as soon as I started saying I wasn't going to go back to Rockford that I hadn't been taking my meds. If I'd just kept my mouth shut, would he still have wanted this job? Who knows. I feel bad that he moved to make me happy. And I am happy. I think. I don't really have a happiness checklist to judge by. I'm afraid that's just my personality- to always second-guess whatever decision I make. Bad news for me, cause the grass is usually greener somewhere else. And in this case it's greener from my back deck in Rockford.

Do you see a resemblance??

Naomi's hair has gotten long enough that it gets in her face it I don't do something with it. So I've started putting the front in pigtails, but they look like the horns on the Garbage Goat to me.

Painting Lesson

Today Hope had an introduction to one of the greatest artists in history, Bob Ross. Who'd you think I was going to say, Picasso? His voice is almost hypnotic. She sat and watched him paint, learned about happy little clouds, and helped him decide where the palm trees should live. Her primary observation? "His hair looks funny".

How do you explain adoption to a 4 year old?

Hope and I were watching Sesame Street and they had a part about babies. There were a bunch of different babies, and she says, "I don't want Joel to be a black baby; I want him to be white". So I tried to explain that if the mommy and daddy are white, then the baby will be white too. "Well, what about Alex? He's brown, but Aunt Mandy and Uncle James are white." So I asked her if she remembered when Alex first came here- he wasn't a little baby. I told her that Alex had another mommy and daddy before Mandy and James became his mom and dad. Typical Hope, she said "Well what happened? Did he get lost??" Gonna have to work a little more on explaining the concept of adoption before PB&J get here- she'll think there's just alot of lost little brown kids who happen to show up at Mandy's house.

This kid remembers everything!!

Hope has an amazing memory. I've always known that. But this morning we were watching the Rose Bowl parade-- she was VERY impressed with the floats-- and she started telling me how it was just like the parade she went to at our old house with Grant and Chloe. Ok, we went to the Lilac Parade ONE year, and she was a few weeks from being two! How does she remember that?? And dad thought she'd forget about aunt Carol's pony............

Happy Birthday Rynee!

I hope you're safe and happy and have a few candles to blow out today!

Honesty may be the best policy..........

But it certainly isn't the easiest. At dinner tonight for Zach's birthday, we had a waitress who was less than stellar. So David was telling Zach about the Steve Martin SNL skit about the forgetful waiter who forgets everything, including how much money he's paid, so he gives the couple back a few hundred dollars in change, even though they pay with a $20 bill. David said something about "we won't be that lucky though; she'll forget our drinks and dessert, but we won't get extra change".

So after paying with a $100 bill, we got our change back. The waitress provided the right change, but forgot to take the hundred bucks. It was so hard to not justify keeping the money by saying that God was providing a nice dinner for us for free:) What's that saying about the Lord providing in mysterious ways? Maybe that's not quite what the saying is. Yes, we left the money. But, heavens, it was tempting to keep it. Shouldn't doing what's right be easier??

Monkey See, Monkey Do

Just now Naomi sneezed, and of course had a trail of mucus about to drip off her chin. So since I didn't have a Kleenex close by and my shirt was already dirty, I just used the sleeve to wipe her nose. She stared at my sleeve, then at her sleeve, and then pulled the sleeve down on her jammies and started dabbing at her face with it.

Hope has started showering with me rather than taking baths. Yesterday when we were getting in the shower, she took off her clothes, put them in the hamper and walked directly to the scale and stepped on. I guess we know what I do every morning before getting in the shower!

Here Comes Santa Claus

We went to the mall to buy gifts for the Tree of Sharing, and Santa was there. So, since the line was pretty short, we decided to let Hope talk to him. She spent the entire time in line trying to think of something to ask for. Never came up with anything, so she asked Santa if he was ready for Christmas, and what the reindeers' favorite snack is. (Last year we left a carrot for Rudolph, but she had to make sure he liked it.) We knew Naomi wouldn't like him, so we just stuck her on his lap at the last second to take a picture. I actually wanted to get more of the open-mouth wail, a la Mandy, but we were only supposed to take two pictures (since, cheapskate that I am, I wasn't willing to spend $29.99 for the picture package). I bet poor Santa hates kids.

There's a comeback for you!

On the way to daycare today, Hope was telling me how one of the boys had been teasing her and saying she was a boy. It was upsetting her, so one of her friends came to the rescue and told the boys she was indeed a girl. Oh, the issues of 4-year-olds! I was telling Hope things she could do if she were ever in a situation like that again. She could say "Stop saying that please", say "I don't want to play with you if you aren't going to be nice" and go play somewhere else, and a few other suggestions. She was very concerned that she wouldn't remember those words. I told her she could use whatever words she wanted, but she had to be nice and not say mean things back. So she told me, "I know what I'll tell him. I'll tell him he'd better be nice to me or else Santa won't bring him any presents!"

But mom............

This morning I was helping Hope get dressed. We lay her clothes out the night before, and she wanted to know what something was. I told her it was her shirt. Well then she wanted to know what was on it- it had a lace collar and she didn't know what the lace was. So I told her it was her collar. She gets a horrified expression on her face and says "But mom, I thought only dogs wore collars!?!" Not that kind of collar, Hope.

O Mike Divine

Will I ever hear O Holy Night and not sing 'oh Mike Divine'? We've been listening to alot of Christmas music lately, and every time O Holy Night is on, I chuckle as it gets to that part. Just one of those cute little kid things that became part of our vocabulary. Like suvvy, doo-ba-doos, zerberts, and Buffy the bear. For me, the words to that song have changed. I wonder what Mike would think.

The Haves and the Have-Nots

Some people, like I was for years, are just naturally photogenic. Sure, an occasional bad picture will show up. But for the most part, they just have that natural quality that assures great pictures. Hopey seems to have gotten that particular trait.

Then, there's poor little Naomi. If you snap fifty or a hundred pictures, you'll get lots of closed or half-closed eyes, funny looks, and turned heads. Lately, you'll also get alot of tears. Her scrapbook, when I ever get it started, will only have two or three pictures per page because that's all the pictures I have where she doesn't look drugged or constipated. She's apparently a have-not when it comes to the photogenic gene.

Is 'HeyYou' a name?

Why is it so difficult to agree on a name for this poor child? Apparently we can't name him Luke because he's not one of the Duke boys. David doesn't like Levi. He doesn't like Cain (ok, I'll give him that one). He doesn't like Isaiah, or Micah, or Paul, or Thomas ("he's a train"), or Simeon, or Stephen, or Peter, or Drew, or most of the other names I've suggested.

His suggestions were Scott (you mean like Jorgens?), Adam (Barfield? I think not), and Justin. Um, no. We have a million relatives with names I sorta like but can't use- Benjamin, Joshua, Jeffrey, James, Alexander. He said Caleb wasn't too bad- I didn't mention that Kris' kid is named that. But then I saw it on a most popular list, so out that one goes.

David had grudgingly said Ezekiel, Isaac, Gideon (hey, I was just looking for anything at that point), and Ethan are ok. While I like most of those names well enough, I wouldn't really want to name my child any of them. So it looks like the only names we even halfway agree on are Joel and Seth. Then there's the middle name- now David has issues with William.............Maybe kids should be like Cabbage Patch dolls and come pre-named. At least then you just live with what you get.

Bryn, have you been giving Hope pointers??

Three times today when I've asked Hope to pick up a few of her toys, she's told me she just can't because her arms are tired. Is this an inborn excuse that I just don't remember using, or has Bryn been telling Hope ways to get out of picking up after herself?

Can't we just dress him in pink......

........and pretend it's a girl?? I already had her named and everything. David had even agreed to the middle name, although I was a little sneaky in getting the agreement. I casually suggested the worst names I could come up with based on our ancestors. After he had said yuck to all of them, I mentioned the name I wanted, and he liked it. And now it was all for nothing?

I thought David and I had decided on a boy's name when I was pregnant the first time. I'd even suggested another name when I was prego with Naomi, and he said he liked Joel better. So when I called him and told him the baby was a boy, he said something about having to decide on a boy's name now. That night when he came home, he said how he'd been thinking that having a little David would be nice. Um, you already have a son and you already used David. Apparently that doesn't count? So he thinks since we like Joel, we should name him David Joel and call him DJ. Or Deej. I don't think so. We have all these pretty, biblical names for our girls and you want DJ? It's not a name, it's some letters, and it's the name of the girl on Full House. I'm not into unisex names. I'm not into initials. I'm not into Juniors. Is David there? Sure, which one? Big David or little David? Young David or old David. David or Davey? Hell will freeze before this kid's name is DJ.

I almost feel bad because when I thought David wanted to name him Joel and I kinda didn't, I was going to give in and tell him since I basically named both the girls, he could name the boy. Now, not a chance. I'm picking this one too. I guess we're back to the "you birth 'em, you name 'em" rule of mine.

One of those days

Work was awful today. I've been on the verge of tears since lunch. Some days I know it just isn't my day. My xrays just don't look good, I miss stuff on exams, I forget to write down things, but today I actually thought I was doing pretty good. The xrays looked fine- I even took any extras before being asked. I went over treatment with patients and documented why we were or were not moving forward. But the doctor was behind schedule. Is that my fault?? Apparently so. At least thats what he said as he was screaming at the other hygienist and office manager. Don't talk to me about it- that would be entirely too mature. No, instead lets vent to the other employees so I get to hear about it from them and look like a complete moron. I really thought I'd done what I was supposed to on the exam he was pissed about. I'd talked to the patient about everything, I'd charted correctly except for one spot. But she asked a rather detailed question that she had never even mentioned to me. How am I supposed to answer a question that she never even hinted about until the doc was in the room?

So after lunch I was in a less than stellar mood. But again, I tried to take good films, even took an extra one just in case he wanted it. I buzzed for an exam half an hour early because the patient had a broken filling. Did I want to do the filling? No- I hate restorative because I'm not very good at it. But at least we could've done it if needed. So when he finally comes in to do his exam- 35 minutes after I buzzed- he was livid because I could've done the filling if I'd gotten him in there to do the exam. What exactly would you like me to do? Stand in the hall and stare at you until you stop and come look at my patient? You knew I needed an exam, and yet it's my fault that you didn't get your arse in there?? I did snap at him a little when he asked me why I didn't do it-I said "Was I supposed to prep it?"(since that'd be totally illegal). But I'm not going to fight with him in front of a patient. I'd just make myself look worse. Better to just shut up and take it.

So my next patient had a tiny filling that had popped out. The guy didn't need an exam and there wasn't any decay, so I just filled it. I'm sure when Todd finds out about that, he'll have my hide because I did the filling. Darned if you do, darned if you don't.